A typo in a legal document to defund the police has accidentally overfunded them and given all officers access to lightsabers.
A representative of the Portland Police Department spoke before the city council today so they could get a better understanding of how the department got a hold of lightsabers..
“You know, we got pretty scared. We thought this defunding the police movement was really going to bite us in the back end. We got word that some of our equipment was going to be taken away and they might have to fire a lot of the rookie staff. Then when we looked over the budget cuts we saw that they had actually increased our budget significantly. We took the liberty of ordering a few crates of lightsabers so we can protect and serve while we look really cool doing it.”
The representative then took out his lightsaber and waved it around while making lightsaber sounds with his mouth even though it was already making those sounds by itself.
Activist groups have expressed their concerns with the new equipment.
“You know what? We’re fine with the tear gas and rubber bullets. Can we go back to that? Can we go back to those please? A buddy of mine got his arm cut off because he threw a bottle at the police. We’ll stop doing that but we would really like it if the police could stop cutting us in half at the torso. It’s cool to do, we get it. But it’s also really painful. Please stop.”
Further spending receipts show that the Portland Police department had also used the additional budget to hire Jedi force instructors to teach them the powers of the force.
There are some members of the police that have joined the darkside but the commissioner insists these are just a few bad apples.