Scientists in Southern California have warned of the discovery of a new invasive species, the molestation wasp.
An official from The California Department Of Fish And Wildlife spoke about the potential threat this new species poses towards the ecosystem.
“These molestation wasps are nasty. I mean, they make their way into an area, they molest everything in sight, and then they spread. Just one of these wasps can molest up to 50 individuals in its life cycle. When it comes to other insects and even small animals like birds, the wasps will swarm around them and in some cases molest them to death. Every member of this species of wasp is on the insect sex offender registry but we feel even this might not be enough to stop them.”
An expert on the molestation wasp was also brought in to help tackle the mounting problem. He addressed the public during the same conference in which he promised to kill every last one of them.
“I’m going to kill every last one of them. My first encounter with this species was back in Korea. I watched my entire family get molested by these wasps, I was powerless to stop them. I won’t let that happen to another family ever again. I won’t stop until I’ve personally eradicated the molestation wasp. I’ve been training my whole life for this. I will be the harbinger of death for these little winged bastards.”
The molestation wasp expert then declared himself to be vengeance and drew a sword before running into the forest while screaming. It’s safe to say that California is in good hands.