Santa Claus has been shot down over California airspace for violating Governor Newsom’s stay at home orders.
Santa was reached for comment while recovering in the ICCU (Intensive Christmas Care Unit).
“Ho ho ho, there I was riding my sleigh through the sky when I saw a set of missiles closing in fast. Now, I’m used to this kind of thing as I have to enter North Korea’s airspace every year, so I go and drop my anti missile flares and shake the first two. Then another set of heat seeking missiles make their way to my sleigh and lock onto Rudolph’s nose. There was no dodging that one. Ho ho ho we went down in a ball of fire, all my reindeer were screaming in pain, it was terrible, ho ho ho.”
Thousands of California children have now gone presentless this year due to the actions of the Governor. Governor Newson defended his decision to fire surface to air missiles at Santa.
“Nobody is above the law, not even a mystical character that is the embodiment of Christmas itself. Is Santa spreading joy and cheer? Yes, but he is also potentially spreading a deadly virus to a countless number of California residents and I will do everything within my power to protect them. Now if you excuse me I need to instruct the National Guard where they should bury all these dead mystical reindeer.”
Santa Claus was last sighted leaving the hospital and purchasing a large caliber rifle from a gun store.
