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Home Business

New dating app, EssentialsOnly.com, makes public debut

@HeroicHenry by @HeroicHenry
March 26, 2020
in Business, Technology
Essential
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Dating is already difficult. Now add a global pandemic with mandatory no travel restrictions on top of dating. Virtually impossible.

EssentialsOnly.com is here to fix that problem. For those who are lucky enough to work during a contagious viral pandemic, you’re considered an “essential”. Now, all the single essentials are able to find a life long partner by dating on the new EssentialsOnly.com platform.

You’re able to swipe left or right on potential partners in your area. All members are mandatory essential personnel who are screened by the EssentialsOnly.com staff.

I found the love of my life on EssentialsOnly.com. Being forced to work during the apocalyptic times is difficult, especially if you’re alone. Now, I don’t have to be alone when I work for a less than livable wage during one the worst times of human history.

Larry, Age 27

Meeting people on the app is extremely easy. You come to find out you have a lot in common with everyone on EssentialsOnly.com. You crack a few corona jokes and BOOM, you get laid.

Joe, Age 22

Membership is currently free, but there is a paid subscription that unlocks extra features. Some of the paid features include the following: A live counter of how many times a user comes in contact with customers during work, a visual map of the most Covid-19 infected areas, and a free face mask with hand sanitizer if you find your true love.

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@HeroicHenry

@HeroicHenry

Henry was once asked to run Tesla, but he respectfully declined due to his current obligations with his World of Warcraft guild.

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