In a heroic move today, Twitter banned the social media account of Donald Trump who has now been thoroughly defeated even though he still has access to thousands of nukes.
Twitter took to Twitter to announce what a good job it did after banning Donald Trump.
“You know what, he went way too far this time. Oh yeah, big time. We’re being very brave by doing this right as he is about to leave office. This definitely isn’t the digital version of insulting the bully under your breath and hoping he doesn’t hear it. Now what is he gonna do? Nuke Twitter headquarters?”
Trump took to the lesser known social media site Dargo to spread a message to all of his 5 followers.
“You know, I might be in command of the largest military in the world, but unfortunately there is nothing I can do now. With my Twitter account being banned I am completely powerless. All of the nuclear missiles that I have access to are useless. I had plans to unveil a giant death robot I had been building in secret, but now with my Twitter ban it will be impossible for me to do so. Truly a tragedy.”