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Home Business

Life Alert to sponsor first 2020 presidential debate

@HeroicHenry by @HeroicHenry
June 22, 2020
in Business, News, Politics
Life Alert
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It’s been announced that Life Alert will be sponsoring the first 2020 presidential debate.

With having both presidential candidates being old as dirt, Life Alert really stepped up to the plate by sponsoring the first debate. With their professional medical services, they’ll be able to respond to any accidental falls taken by the candidates.

Both Donald Trump and Joe Biden will be equipped with a Life Alert necklace. This is to ensure if there is an accidental fall, that they’ll be able to push the emergency button from the ground.

Donald Trump’s Life Alert necklace will be MAGA themed, and Joe Biden’s will just be blue. Both candidate’s necklaces will come with extra features.

Joe’s Life Alert necklace will have wireless communication. This is to ensure his campaign manager is able to communicate Biden’s lines when he forgets where he’s at. Trump’s will have a prerecorded statement that says “That’s fake news, I’ve never said that”, for many of the questions that will be asked of him.

The other presidential debates have not picked up sponsors yet, but we hearing rumors that a popular dementia drug might sponsor the next one.

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@HeroicHenry

@HeroicHenry

Henry was once asked to run Tesla, but he respectfully declined due to his current obligations with his World of Warcraft guild.

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