Documents leaked online show that Mark Zuckerberg had been gathering user data by watching them from behind various paintings. Zuckerberg addressed the revelations early this morning in a video message sent out by the company.
“We realized that spying on our users with algorithms was completely unethical. It was this realization that led us to begin our on location approach to stealing their data. Having a cold and lifeless computer program gather information just felt wrong which is why we began to push to have actual people do the gathering.”
Questions were raised about the logistics of such a massive spying network, Zuckerberg laid out exactly how such large scale data gathering was possible.
“We start by offering a Facebook user a free painting along with free installation as part of a promotion. While one employee installs the painting, another sneaks into the space behind the walls of the residence. Once our data gathering agent is in place behind the painting we keep them there for about a month while they watch the user and take notes. This is our humane approach at gathering user information.”
A former Facebook employee spoke to reporters about his experience as a data gathering agent.
“It was hard work for sure. You would be stuck in a tight space with just enough supplies to last you the month. On several occasions I had to fight with a possum over my last sleeve of crackers. Looking back I’m not sure what inspired me to take the job but I think what kept me going was the knowledge that we were doing the right thing.”
Further leaked documents showed that Facebook had eventual plans to use suits of armor as a means of gathering user data, Zuckerberg has yet to address this portion of the leaks.
