Republicans Excited to Find Out What’s in “Big Beautiful Bill” They Just Passed
In a triumphant moment for American legislative theater, House Republicans gathered on the Capitol steps this morning to celebrate the...
Read moreDetailsClimate Summit Canceled Due to Unexpected Blizzard in July
The 2025 Global Climate Summit in Denver, Colorado was abruptly canceled this morning after delegates awoke to find themselves buried...
Read moreDetailsCall of Duty To Add New Competitive Modes: Employed and Unemployed
In a bold move to reflect the shifting demographics of its fanbase, Call of Duty announced two new matchmaking modes:...
Read moreDetailsGerber Picks Donald Trump as New Gerber Baby
In a shocking rebrand aimed at capturing the lucrative “geriatric man-child” demographic, baby food giant Gerber has announced that former...
Read moreDetailsRon DeSantis Bans Rainbows for Being “Too Woke”
In his latest executive action, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has officially banned rainbows, calling them “woke meteorological propaganda” and a...
Read moreDetailsStudy: 90% of Zoom Meetings Could’ve Been a Single Emoji
In a groundbreaking study released this week by the Department of Labor, researchers confirmed what every remote worker has screamed...
Read moreDetailsHere Are 7 TikTok Dances You Can Do To Support Israel Or Iran
In the latest twist of geopolitical cosplay, TikTok influencers across the platform are taking a stand for Israel and Iran...
Read moreDetailsReferee Calls Flagrant on Caitlin Clark for Bleeding on the Ball
In yet another bold interpretation of the rules, WNBA referees issued a flagrant-2 foul against Indiana Fever rookie Caitlin Clark on Thursday...
Read moreDetailsBREAKING: Trump Sends Peace Treaty To Iran
In a daring leap over the Geneva Conventions, former President Donald Trump has once again redefined diplomacy — this time...
Read moreDetailsStudy Finds Severe Mental Illness in Drivers Who Collect Rubber Ducks on Dashboards
In a groundbreaking new study that definitely won’t cause any lawsuits, researchers at the Institute for Automotive Psychosis (IAP) have...
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