A plate of spaghetti close to Andrew Cuomo came forward recently to accuse the governor of sexual harassment.
The plate of spaghetti released a statement detailing the various instances of harassment that pushed it to come forward.
“Well I always knew Andrew as my boss, he was always very nice and respectful to me when we would work together but little by little he started to break those boundaries. I remember one day, I was just lying there on the table and he pulled this chair up. He had this primal look in his eyes, you could tell he was starving and I knew I was in danger.”
Further details released by the plate of spaghetti detail the graphic things Andrew Cuomo allegedly did to it. We warn our readers that the following is not suitable for children.
“He put a napkin inside of his collar, poured a glass of wine and then he slid his fork inside me. He started twirling it around inside me while licking his lips and telling me how delicious I smelled. My sauce got all over his lips and my noodles were slipping out of his mouth. After swallowing the first bite he exhaled and moaned. It was so disturbing, I felt violated. Worst of all, one he ate me noodles, he dived right into my meatballs. It was terrible.”
Andrew Cuomo could not be reached for comment but several other dishes have come forward with similar allegations. Both a lasagna and a cannoli have also accused Cuomo of sexual harassment but no official public statement has been made by the governor.
