The President’s bone spurs have plagued him since the Vietnam Draft. Their newest flare up comes just when the race between him and Joe Biden is at its peak.
“Look, I don’t control when these flare-ups will happen. It’s not my fault that they have kept me from getting hurt when I knew the fight wasn’t fair. Now they are stopping me from debating. I have the best and worst bone spurs of any President and I ask you all to respect that.”
Despite the Physician to the President previously saying Trump is in perfect health, these bone spurs have reared their ugly head again. The White House Doctor laid out a care plan should President Trump be forced to debate.
“The President’s bone spurs (located on his beautiful heels) are incredibly sensitive. They are so sensitive, that even the mere suggestion that Trump is unfit for the Presidency could set them off. As Physician to the President, I have a responsibility to make sure no harm comes to President Trump’s precious, precious feet. Therefore, I request that I am able to be onsite should they need a gentle massage mid-debate.”
What this means for future debates is uncertain. If the President’s bone spurs persist, he may move to cancel the election as a whole.