Florida – A local cannibal has been arrested for wearing a literal face mask. The arrest came after horrified Walmart shoppers saw the man walking around the vegan aisle.
The cannibal stated that his reason for wearing a face mask was due to the CDC’s recommendation of the face mask. He had several face masks left over from his home projects, so finding one was easy for him.
He didn’t understand why so many shoppers were staring at him when he walked through the local Walmart. He didn’t give it a second thought since he’s always been a social outcast.
He visited the Walmart to get his weekly vegan groceries, as he doesn’t believe in hurting animals. He knew something was wrong when he was picking out his favorite vegan burger from the aisle when another patron screamed in horror.
The police arrived shortly after several 911 phone calls were placed due to the cannibal wearing the human face mask. The alleged suspect is still isn’t sure why he’s in trouble since he claims he was wearing a face mask, as instructed by the CDC.