Biden announced early this morning that he would be caging white American children to balance things out after Trump’s family separations at the border.
Biden explained to the press how this new policy would hopefully help the nation heal and for America grow close with its foreign allies once more.
“Trump kept those children, those innocent children, in cages. That was wrong, it was evil, plain and simple. The only way the international community will ever trust America again is if we show them we’ve changed, we need to balance the scales once more. It is for that reason and that reason alone that the Department Of Homeland security will begin rounding up white American children, and placing them in cages until Mexico feels like we’re even.”
Biden went on to explain the selection process and how they would be rounded up.
“Well, we want to make sure that these kids experience the same things that the children at the border did. Our plan right now is to convince these American children that a country exists where everything is made of candy. Then when these stupid kids try to illegally enter that imaginary candy country, we detain them and throw them in some cages for a year or two. Hopefully Mexico and the rest of the world witnesses this and tells us everything is cool now.”
Ten year old Timothy Welker of Ohio had already been placed into the first of the Biden cages. Timothy’s liberal parents are incredibly supportive of their child’s containment as they understand it is the only way for everyone to be okay with what happened to those children from Mexico.