In a series of day one Executive Orders, President Biden created The Department Of Partying and has selected his son Hunter to be in charge of the government organization.
Biden spoke to the press about what led him to make such a drastic decision and bring into fruition a new branch of the federal government.
“Listen folks, we’ve had four years of that buffoon Trump killing the vibes of this beautiful nation. Right now, more than anything else, this country needs to stop being so tense. Everyone across the nation needs to toke up and dust off their XBox because it’s party time. Seeing the need for this I have created the Department Of Partying and I’m excited to see the changes it brings for America. Starting today, this administration will do everything in its power to enforce a mentality of relaxing and acting all cool.”
Biden went onto to explain his selection process which lead to him choosing his son Hunter to lead The Department Of Partying.
“We’ve all seen the pictures that were on that laptop. You know just as well as I do that Hunter can party. I will admit, it has caused some problems for us in the past, but right now is the perfect time for him to use his partying abilities for the greater good. We’ve partnered with strip clubs all across the country and Hunter has raided the evidence lockers of the DEA. The party starts tonight and it won’t stop until we’re all hungover and praying to God for mercy. This is the America we need right now!”
Biden then called his son Hunter to the podium and the two of them both snorted a line of white lightning together.