Soon to be President Joe Biden celebrated his victory Saturday by rushing into his audience of supporters and grabbing a child for a celebratory sniff session.
Biden brought the child up to the podium with him along with several other children and gave his speech while sniffing them.
“You know, this has been a hard fought election battle. Whatever shampoo this child is using is incredible. My victory would not have been possible without the support of all of you. If you would like to support me further please bring your children up on stage and let me sniff them. Some people say this is inappropriate but the scent of a child is the only thing that seems to wake my brain up nowadays.”
The speech and sniffing continued as many of his supporters uncomfortably cheered him on.
“I was sniffing plenty of children when I was Vice President but can you imagine what it’s going to be like when I finally become Commander In Chief? It’s time for this country to heal, and a big part of that healing process is making sure that you all let me sniff your children at least once. I want the White House to be like the Wonka factory except instead of making candy I’m smelling children. Thank you once again everyone!”
Biden concluded his speech by turning into a pile of dust and being carried away by the wind.