Chanting that “all viruses matter,” a group of All Lives Matter protesters marched in Washington today to denounce the media’s dismal coverage of non-COVID viruses.
Even though the coronavirus has infected almost 13 million Americans thus far, the protesters believe more obscure viruses deserve the spotlight.
“I’m anti-mask. I’m anti-vax. But I’m pro-tell-me-how-many-cases-of-chikungunya-there-are-in-my-city because, as a freedom-loving American, I have a right to know!” proclaimed Karen Karens, a 63 year old with four preexisting conditions.
Karens, who could barely contain her “smoker’s cough,” seemed unfazed that she had a higher chance of contracting COVID-19 than several other viruses combined.
The rest of America is hoping the protesters contract some semblance of intelligence.