• About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service
Tuesday, May 24, 2022
Caps Lock News
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Latest
  • Trending
  • Newsletter
Caps Lock News
  • Home
  • Latest
  • Trending
  • Newsletter
Caps Lock News
Home Entertainment

Alex Rodriguez And J.Lo Call It Quits Following Affair With Phillie Phanatic

SmoopieDoopie by SmoopieDoopie
May 31, 2021
in Entertainment, Sports
Phillie Phanatic
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Speculation runs rampant following a rumor that Alex Rodrigues cheated on J.Lo with The Phillie Phanatic. 

Alex himself denies these rumors despite the widespread talk of their truth.

“No, not true at all. Are you kidding me? With him? The Phillie Phanatic? First of all, I’m a former Yankee, I would never cheat on my old team like that. I also wouldn’t cheat on J.Lo like that. I don’t even like green. What, you think I watched that mascot doing all that dancing and I got turned on? You think I followed him to the locker room and started kissing him? You think I railed him in the coach’s office? Disgusting, I would never do that. No way.”

J.Lo also spoke with the press where she too denied any rumors of an affair taking place.

“You think I’m jealous of that furry green slut? Think again, I’m J.Lo! The Phillie Phanatic ain’t a bad bitch like me, I don’t care how thick he is. Sure, he can dance really well but he can’t sing or act, he can’t do anything that I can do. Alex would never sleep with that disgusting little monster. I would like to see him try and take my man, it wouldn’t end well for him. I’ll wear his skin as my costume then I’ll be the new Phillie Phanatic.”

The Phillie Phanatic was reached out to for comment but was only able to respond by doing an elaborate and exaggerated dance number.

ShareTweet
SmoopieDoopie

SmoopieDoopie

A comedian who is currently working up the courage to ask his dad out on a date to Applebee's

Please login to join discussion
Currently Playing

Stay Connected

  • 9.6k Fans
  • 2 Followers
  • 946 Followers
  • 904 Subscribers

Newsletter

You can support us for free by signing up for our newsletter, liking our social media pages, and sharing our posts.

*we hate spam as much as you do

  • Trending
  • Comments
  • Latest
virus

New global virus called ID-10T is spreading quickly

June 1, 2021
walmart

Walmart requiring all customers to wear deodorant now

June 1, 2021
Adam Sandler

Multiple women accuse Adam Sandler of making terrible movies

June 1, 2021
Murder Hornets

Murder Hornets are deadly because they carry Glocks

June 1, 2021
pfizer vaccine bigger dick

Pfizer Vaccine Side Effect Linked To Growing Bigger Dick

Trump claims that staring into the sun will cure the Corona Virus

Trump claims that staring into the sun will cure the Corona Virus

Animal Crossing

CDC warns Animal Crossing Players not to travel to other islands

Prince Charles

Prince Charles tests positive for coronavirus, somehow, Meghan Markle’s fault

Check Halloween Candy

Police Departments Warn Families To Check Halloween Candy For ‘The Communist Manifesto’ Books

October 15, 2021
Squid Game

Marine Biologist Outraged No Actual Squids in Netflix’s ‘Squid Game’

October 14, 2021
Joe Biden Candy Corn

Biden Signs Executive Order Making Candy Corn Mandatory To Pass Out During Trick-or-Treating

October 13, 2021
pfizer vaccine bigger dick

Pfizer Vaccine Side Effect Linked To Growing Bigger Dick

October 12, 2021
Caps Lock News

News That's Worth Using Caps Lock

About

Caps Lock News is a satirical and parody website that should only be used for entertainment purposes.

Other Links

  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service



No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Latest
  • Trending
  • Newsletter
  • About Us
  • Contact

© 2020 Caps Lock News.

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
Murder Hornets
Support CLN

You can support us for free by signing up for our newsletter, liking our social media pages, and sharing our posts.

Enter your email address